You re making me hate you кори тейлор
Фронтмен SLIPKNOT костерит современное общество и размышляет о пришельцах, которые спасаются бегством
Новая книга фронтмена SLIPKNOT и STONE SOUR Кори Тейлора под названием «You’re Making Me Hate You: A Cantankerous Look At The Common Misconception That Humans Have Any Common Sense Left» выйдет 7 июля в издательстве Da Capo Press (отделение Perseus Books Group). В преддверии релиза Кори презентовал отрывок труда на сайте газеты TheGuardian.com, ну а мы попытались его перевести.
Музыка, ТВ, кино, интернет, книги (да-да, те самые, что ваши дети скачивают на свой Kindle Fires). Куда ни глянь – везде развлечение, и оно падает под тяжестью собственного мусора. Я перефразирую Майкла Бэя, который лучше всего резюмировал мою мысль, когда заявил критикам, что ему насрать на их мнение о последних «Трансформерах». Он сказал: «Короче, вы все увидите» — и оказался прав. Это был первый фильм 2014 года, переваливший отметку в $100 миллионов за первый уик-энд в США. Бэй может продолжать снимать это чертово дерьмо, пока не решит заморозить себя, чтобы пережить будущее. Это не имеет никакого значения. Лемминги направятся к обрыву без тени мысли в глазах, прежде чем почувствуют свист ветра на размытых лицах и рухнут на дно каньона. Эти лемминги — мы с вами. В зависимости от позиций, наши чувства по поводу развлечений могут быть либо ветром, толкающим лица, либо землей, продавливающей черепа. Как ни крути, мы в жопе.
Раньше говорили: «Дерьмо случается». Я добавлял: «Дерьмо случается, только не позволяйте ему случаться рядом с собой». Теперь, с дорогой в жизни и жизнью в дороге пришло время сказать: «ДЕРЬМО ПРОДАЕТСЯ». Это истина – вы все любите свое дерьмо. От производимой музыки, пустых гламурных фильмов и роликов в интернете, которые показывают наш идиотизм, до зависимости от искажающих реальность телепередач – эта поговорка становится фактом. Люди, штампующие это дерьмо, знают свою аудиторию. Они знают, что вы будете покупать, смотреть и слушать это дерьмо, если добавить порядком блеска. Они считают вас тупицами, и это их не заботит. Они с радостью продолжат высасывать содержание и малейший намек на мысль из своего продукта, постоянно сокращая затраты, чтобы получить наибольший выхлоп. Все вокруг и есть продукт. Нет искусства, нет сердца, нет цели, нет души – только полнейший мусор для вашего удовольствия. Если бы я был тобой, я бы оскорбился. Но я не оскорблен, потому что я не покупаю это дерьмо. Я бойкотирую его.
Хотите быть лучшего мнения о себе? Хотите доказать, что не потребляете дерьмо? Так берите плакат и присоединяйтесь в моем бойкоте. Сделайте заявление, которое не будет иметь ничего общего с голосованием на копающемся в говне шоу «Голос» (The Voice). Тщательно выбирайте фильмы, а не бросайтесь на все подряд для «молодых взрослых» (YA, young adult), где актеры выходят с Лемон Фейсом (Lemon Face). Избегайте клипов про промежности и компиляций «Живем только раз» на отстойниках вроде YouTube, Vine, Insta. Кормите мозг чем-нибудь кроме пустого хаоса и посредственной бессмыслицы. Испытайте себя, прочитайте книгу без картинок. Найдите шоу, которое отыщет хоть какое-нибудь вещество в вашем мозгу и заставит его работать. Слушайте музыку, где есть что-то еще кроме тысячи повторений слова «Baby». Мозг и интеллект значат не меньше, чем ваше тело. Если вы их кормите, они расцветают и крепнут. Если ты жрешь только пустые калории из бистро, однажды наступит момент, когда ты начнешь дышать через рот, а костяшки твоих пальцев упрутся в бетон, пока ты пытаешься добраться до центра трудоустройства.
Спросите себя: Если мы поубиваем друг друга или достигнем такой технологической точки, когда сможем покинуть планету, что найдут пришельцы, просеявшие обломки нашей цивилизации через эоны лет? Хотите, чтобы нас судили по Баху или Биберу? Чтобы читали Гюго или «Летнюю поваренную книгу» The View? Кого они будут считать величайшим человеком, Стивена Хокинга или Джонни Мэнзела? Не решат ли они на основании увиденного прикончить каждого из нас, чтобы мы не распространяли это шутовство по космосу? Или они окинут взором весь оставленный мусор, созерцая наше дерьмо, потрут свои щупальца и скажут: «Серьезно? ЭТО по вашему мнению хорошо?».
Да, меня волнует, что о нас подумают пришельцы. И, нет, я не древний космонавт-теоретик. Я не думаю, что нас посетит продвинутый вид существ. Я не думаю, что они строят заговор с целью вторжения. Мне кажется, если они наблюдают, то согласятся со мной: Интересно, какого ляда вы, люди, так загипнотизированы этими нелепыми развлечениями. Они сидят в своих космических кораблях, смотрят на наши привычки и приходят к выводу, что мы все – обезьяны в дизайнерских шмотках. Они думают, что мы конченные дебилы. Их поражает, что мы вообще в состоянии кормить себя и строить укрытия при всей глупости, которой себя подвергаем. Но хуже всего тот факт, что наша глупость заразительна. Им кажется, что если они спустятся к нам, чтобы установить контакт, есть вероятность поймать тот же «вирус пустоты». Это угрожает жизни… ладно, то, что они называют своими фекалиями, пугает их больше всего. И эти удивительные существа за пределами нашей способности восприятия оставляют нас. Они уходят на карантин и не вернутся, пока дом не опустеет, пока не погаснут огни. И только тогда они заглянут вновь, чтобы проверить, остались ли еще «тупые» порывы. Они сохраняют дистанцию, и это меня разочаровывает. Я действительно хочу, чтобы они вернулись и забрали меня с собой. Какая бы раковая опухоль не угрожала этому миру, я ни при чем.
Мировой коэффициент IQ приближается к одной цифре. Люди смотрят в никуда своим глянцевым и стеклянным взглядом. Самое ужасное, что я устал с ними бороться. Кто мне поможет?
Источник
Showing 1-30
Average rating
4.07
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1,615
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179
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Start your review of You’re Making Me Hate You: A Cantankerous Look at the Common Misconception That Humans Have Any Common Sense Left
Sep 05, 2014
Bonnie
rated it
really liked it
“…can’t people just not fucking suck as human beings once in a while? […] People have just as much capacity to be good as they do to be shit. It’s a choice. People make choices. So they need to make better fucking choices.”
Being that this is Corey Taylor’s third book you think I’d be used to his absolutely impeccable way of putting into words all the bitching and complaining that runs through my head, but I am. Like all the times when I’m confronted with the idiocy of this planet be it b
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Dec 30, 2015
Lubna
rated it
really liked it
4.5 or 4.75 just not reaching 5 stars
I have had a prolonged toughtful session as to what should I write for a review to this book. I mean I don’t think I could simply write anyhing down here without thinking about the possibility that Mr. Taylor there would by some chance come across it and think I am another dumb soul who walks this earth. And I am telling ya, you do not want this man out of anyone else to think you’re dumb, or get mad at/because of you. He will rip your dignity and every sing
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Aug 08, 2016
Eeva
rated it
it was amazing
Corey has done it.
I always thought that Bernard Black is my spirit guide, but now I’m starting to think that maybe Corey is one. Or maybe they can guide me both? I really hope so.
Oh sush you, Bernard. You’ll do just fine.
Corey is a very verbose author, and this time I don’t mean it like an accusation. He’s not like Hardy, who puts you to sleep every single time you open his books.
He’s verbose, but also he’s hilarious and wicked smart.
He speaks all the things you think but never say out loud.
H
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Aug 21, 2020
L. McCoy
rated it
liked it
·
review of another edition
Recommends it for:
Fans of Slipknot and/or Stone Sour
“You only live once- You only die once too, asshat!”
This book has quite a bit of sad truth in it.
What’s it about?
Corey Taylor (frontman of Slipknot and Stone Sour) gives us some essays and stories of things he has experienced that he considers substantial evidence that humanity as a whole is stupid and doomed.
Pros:
This book is fucking hilarious! I was laughing a lot throughout, there’s a lot of humor.
This is sadly relatable at times. There’s a lot here I agreed with. I truly think this planet
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Jul 04, 2015
Eli
rated it
it was amazing
Corey Taylor has done it again. This book is more aggressive and opinionated than his first two books, and he calls this one his “Angry Old Man book.” It’s definitely angry. AND HILARIOUS.
This book is not for the masses or for people who have issues with vulgar language. I would definitely recommend it to fans of Slipknot and Stone Sour as well as heavy metal/hard rock fans in general.
Corey Taylor basically uses this book to rant about all the things people do that he absolutely hates. Each chap
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Jun 03, 2016
Terry
rated it
it was ok
There are moments when Taylor is genuinely funny: “show me on the doll where that makes any sense” and “…makes me want to kill penguins in front of children,” are examples of his colorful language that earn genuine guffaws. But he’s a one-trick pony without the depth or dynamism of other famous ranters (ie.: Dennis Miller, George Carlin). This collection of essays is already short, but each chapter could be trimmed by half.
I was especially disappointed by his screed, late in the book, that ma
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I was blessed with an early copy of this book from NetGalley in exchange for this honest review.
(This review can also be seen on my blog @ Ok, so I…)
In this third novel by Slipknot and Stone Sour vocalist, Corey Taylor, we are taken on a witty adventure into into his brain as he reveals truths about the idiocy that resides in the human race. I feel that anyone who reads this book at some point can relate to (or be insulted by) the subjects discussed within. Parenting, children, the music indu
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Jan 11, 2016
Wendy Williams
rated it
did not like it
I bought this book because of all the raving reviews but i must say that i was very disappointed. It was mostly an angry diatribe about everything that we all find annoying in our daily lives, which i usually enjoy. I felt like Corey just tried to hard to sound much more intellectual than would be necessary for such a subject matter. If any of you readers are familiar with the rambling, nonsensical “final thought” on the old Jerry Springer show, then you’ll know what i’m talking about. I also fe
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Oct 08, 2015
Taylor
rated it
did not like it
Now I consider myself a pretty big fan of Slipknot, so after hearing great reviews about the some of Corey Taylor’s writing I decided to give this book a try. I may still take a stab at reading one of his other books because I really want to like his writing and give it a second chance, but I need time to recover from this hot mess of a book. This book was just a bunch of rants about how much more intelligent Taylor finds himself to be over the rest of us plebians, and while I found his colorful
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Apr 08, 2018
Sarah
rated it
did not like it
You kind of get the point by chapter 5. Ironically, this book made me hate him a little bit.
Jun 22, 2015
Heather
rated it
really liked it
There’s a passing reference Corey Taylor makes about this book that sums it up probably more succinctly and accurately than I could: “This is indeed my Angry Old Man book.”
So with that, a quick – and unsurprising – disclaimer: if you’re easily offended, probably not the book for you. Corey is quick to point out the human race are assholes and no one is safe, and he means it.
And with that comes the inevitable problem of hearing someone complain about something you’re not 100% on board with, kind
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Nov 22, 2016
Jonathan Maas
rated it
it was amazing
First of all, what this book is not:
* Angry
* A Thomas Ligotti diatribe against humanity
* Advocating violence or discord of any sort
What this book is:
* Hilarious
* Hilarious
* Hilarious
I was expecting a meandering reduction of humanity in its basest form, which can be entertaining at times. What I got was a non-divisive, hilarious rant on annoying features about humans, but no specifics about individual humans themselves.
A chapter on people who don’t use their turn signals?
It’s hard to take offense
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Dec 12, 2016
Fiona
rated it
liked it
When I first saw that Corey Taylor wrote a book (yes I know he already wrote several but somehow I never knew this) and it’s called “You’re making me hate you” I was so excited and directly had to buy it. So you can imagine my expectations were really high that this book was funny, agressiv and honest.
Starting to read it, unfortunately I didn’t find it funny. It was interesting, sometimes it was amusing, but really funny? No. I understand why people say it’s hilarious and shocking, but for me it
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This book basically echoes all my sentiments in a way that only someone as brazen and articulate as Corey Taylor is capable of.
From the sad state of the music industry to the parents who are leashing their children, nothing is off limits.
The thing I love most about Corey’s books is that he doesn’t just give you his opinion, he tells you why he has that opinion. He could have stopped at “pop music is shallow rubbish” and few of us would have disagreed with him, but that would just be too easy.
I
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Jun 10, 2017
Kristy
rated it
did not like it
I love snarky books, comedy books, clever social commentary. I thought I’d like this one after a coworker loaned it to me. But no. I couldn’t even finish it. I read through chapter five and was really put off by the constant negative trashing. I like funny foul-mouthed cleverness but this was just a windbag in love with his many was to say crass things and rip on everyone. Boring and real lack of wit.
Bravo mr. Taylor. Another great book.
I agreed on basically everything except hating fall out boy. They are totally overplayed and I get it, but they still have talent and actually write their songs.
Corey has such a wonderful way of writing. My face changes every sentence. I am either laughing, angry or intently paying attention.
Corey is awesome. The end
Mar 15, 2016
Linda
rated it
did not like it
Hoping For some interesting commentary unfortunately just rants about the easiest targets of all. gosh it’s hard to wait in line in an airport gosh some parents suck. Gosh current pop music isn’t up to my standards lots of reference to shitting his pants did this happen often only plus is I liked his voice on the audiobook
Feb 07, 2019
Eden
rated it
liked it
I thought I was pretty bad when it came to ranting and raging. However, I think Corey Taylor has me beat.
This books basically details what makes Corey Taylor angry with the human race. The short answer; they suck. The long answer; chapters of ranting, raging, and some pretty funny stories.
Funny read. Corey Taylor is definitely the King of ranting.
Jul 12, 2015
Laura
rated it
it was amazing
I loved it! Corey Taylor makes you laugh, yet he always makes a point. I look forward to reading his books.
May 27, 2017
Hendrik
rated it
really liked it
“I haven’t been everywhere, but I’ve been to enough “wheres” to know that Earth has pockets of stupid popping up north, south, east, and west. From the equator to the prime meridian—dumb does not so easily wash off.”
One should NOT read this book at a public place, for example a nice, quiet hipster cafe. While drinking beer. You’ll just end up laughing so hard you’ll look positively stupid with beer bursting from your nostrils. The intro alone made me laugh for 15 minutes straight. After finishi
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4,5/5. This book just played with my feelings all reading long. It made me laugh, made me angry and made me happy that I’m not alone thinking that way. Funny but a deeper true behind every aspect of it, that makes you think, if you’re willing to give some energy to it, about people, society and just how crazily we are just destroying and loosing sight of everything that’s important. I was curious to see what Corey Taylor could create has an author and I wasn’t disappointed. Interesting!
Once again, Corey Taylor does not disappoint!
This is the third book I have read by Taylor and the first I didn’t do as an audio book. Since I received an early copy through NetGalley, listening to Taylor rant at the top of his lungs was not an option.
But it would have been funny as hell.
You’re Making Me Hate You takes a cranky look at the state of the world and the human race. Taylor rants on everything from the music industry to the behavior of children. From travelling in airports to fashion d
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This was hilarious and agreed with Mr Taylor on so many of his points. he presented his opinions clearly and intelligently yes at points he probably does get pretty rambly but I think that shows passion. I adore this man.
recommend wether your a fan of his bands or not. it’s a great time.
May 03, 2016
Jean
rated it
it was ok
Recommends it for:
any insecure people
After a long long wait, It was with great excitement that I finally
could put my hands on this book, as a big fan of Slipknot & Stone Sour
for many years, I couldn’t wait to read it. Well, here’s my review:
The first few chapters are there to grab the reader, and hell, it worked…
I admit it was hilarious. Even though the Charles and Janice tale felt
way too improbable and explosive to be real.
While I agree with the points made in the book, media, the music industry,
reality TV, social networks du
…more
Aug 03, 2018
Alex Shrugged
rated it
did not like it
His humor is not for me.
I don’t mind some cursing. I’ve heard the F-word so many times, I’m thinking of naming one of my children after it. That is not the problem. The first story of the author’s life is about how he took a heroine addict home in a taxi cab, but before they got there, the addict had to vomit. They stopped the cab, and the author escorted the heroine addict down a dark street so that the poor guy could ralph on someone’s lawn. Then the man pulled down his pants (unsuccessfully)
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Jun 07, 2015
Michael
rated it
really liked it
I received a copy from Netgalley in exchange for an honest review.
Here’s the disclaimer right away. If you’re easily offended odds are you’re going to hate this book because you’ll probably see yourself a lot in these pages It’s a book designed to point out mankind’s flaws and Corey Taylor does this in a way that will make you both laugh out loud and growl in frustration because you’ll agree with him more often than you’ll disagree with him.
This is for the intelligent people. We need a book
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May 11, 2015
Jessica White
rated it
really liked it
**THIS REVIEW WAS TAKEN DIRECTLY OFF OF MY BLOG A READER’S DIARY**
I was lucky enough to receive another Advanced Reader’s Copy (ARC) from Netgalley in exchange for an honest review! You’re Making Me Hate You is the latest and greatest book by Slipknot’s front man Corey Taylor. Not being a major fan of Slipknot, I didn’t know what to expect going into this book, but Corey Taylor definitely blew me away. This man took the time to write an ENTIRE book on the ignorant things people in today’s societ
…more
Jan 01, 2017
Xanthi
rated it
it was ok
I listened to this on audiobook. It was narrated by the author.
I have to admit that I was drawn to this book my its title and cover. Both made me laugh because I’m a bit of a misanthrope. I had no idea who the author was and when I found out the Slipknot connection, it had no impact on me, as I have never heard their music and knew nothing about them.
Unfortunately, this book was not nearly as amusing as I hoped it to be. There was a lot of rambling, a fair dose of narcissism, and passages of she
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Feb 20, 2018
Tre Talbot
rated it
really liked it
I’ve known that Cory Taylor, lead singer of Slipknot and Stone Sour has written a few books but this is my first of his and I must say that I know he’s an intelligent man when it comes to lyrics but was pleasantly surprised to see him express himself chapter after chapter. This book is a in your face, I don’t care how you’ll look at me afterwards I’m speaking my mind type read and bravo Mr. Taylor for not backing down. We’re given brutal honesty mixed with some hilarious moments and past experie
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Apr 20, 2015
Adrienne
rated it
really liked it
A blunt, harsh look at the world as we know it. His observations and opinions are so spot on that they a hilariously truthful and honest. He says and points out things that most of us are afraid to bring up or draw attention to. Great read that makes you chuckle at us as humans.
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You’re Making Me Hate You: A Cantankerous Look at the Common Misconception That Humans Have Any Common Sense Left
by
Corey Taylor
1,615 ratings,
4.07
average rating, 179 reviews
You’re Making Me Hate You Quotes
Showing 1-26 of 26
“Hey, I’m going to go inside this place and blow my brains out on alcohol, thereby killing my brain cells and liver while also doing damage to other vital organs. I might even do some blow in the bathroom. But those other fuckers better go outside to SMOKE!” Fuckin’ savages …”
―
Corey Taylor,
You’re Making Me Hate You
“But I am no Lord of the Hill; these hands pitching fastballs at glass houses are just as dirty as yours are. However, there are a lot of exemptions in my favor. One, much of my calamitous behavior occurred prior to the Digital Age, so no footage or real proof exists (thank fuck) and can only be found in hearsay and interviews. Two, I understand the difference between “getting it out of your system” when you are young and not giving a shit outright about making buffoonery seem like a career and not an aberration as you get old enough to actually know better. Three—and this is most important—it is my book, so I can do no wrong. Shit happens; it just so happens to be yours and not mine. So guess what? Even if you are not devoid of gray matter, even if you are not technically by definition bereft of intuitive mental faculties, you are all guilty by association. This is a RICO case, and I am the district attorney in charge of bringing justice to the world. I may not be infallible, but I can wear a suit and use big words, and it won’t even look like someone put peanut butter on the roof of my mouth.”
―
Corey Taylor,
You’re Making Me Hate You: A Cantankerous Look at the Common Misconception That Humans Have Any Common Sense Left
“I stood for a second staring at this imbecile, feeling like a burned-out sentinel watching the meteor streak toward the planet, bracing himself for the lethal impact. The Devil’s Whisper—the fart that happens just before you run for the bathroom to expel your waste—still hung in the air like the Grim Reaper blowing you a kiss as he passes by. I was too stunned to speak and too incensed to stutter. But I’m glad I was there, for as I regarded this kiddy pool of a grown child lying in a horrific amalgam of Technicolor Yawn, top soil, and literal shit, certain things started to occur to me: contemplation of my own misdeeds, realization that if I didn’t rein in my own uncontrollable urges, I might end up looking as pathetic as this pain in my ass. All of this shot through my big-ass brain in what felt like an eternity but in actuality was possibly just a millisecond. In that moment of clarity a tone was set. I also remembered how early it was in the morning. So I did what anyone with half an IQ would have done in my shabby shoes.”
―
Corey Taylor,
You’re Making Me Hate You: A Cantankerous Look at the Common Misconception That Humans Have Any Common Sense Left
“I found myself sitting in the middle of a bedroom floor surrounded by atavistic morons, with a redhead on opiates who was convinced she could read my thoughts and tell me my future. That would have been simple: the future had me trying to escape this fucking awful “party.” The redhead, who we will call Janice, was equal parts pretentious, innocuous, and full of shit. Janice was an actress (an actress in LA . . . what were the odds?) and was trying out for a role in a health food commercial. Judging by the shape she was in, I could have told her that she had an ice cube’s chance in Cuba of making that dream a reality. She looked more like Wynonna Judd than Julianne Moore, complete with the face of a long-haired Clint Eastwood squinting into the desert sun. But being a respectful prick, I kept it to myself, kindly wished her luck in her endeavors, and made to take my leave of it all, grabbing for the front doorknob with one hand and dialing for a cab on my cell phone with the other. Unfortunately Janice wasn’t done with me, much to my chagrin. I explained to her I was leaving; she asked whether she could catch a ride back to her apartment. Knowing full well that nothing was going to happen with this person, I said sure.”
―
Corey Taylor,
You’re Making Me Hate You: A Cantankerous Look at the Common Misconception That Humans Have Any Common Sense Left
“His behavior wasn’t helping his Q points at all. He’d been making attempts to engage in conversation with almost everyone, but once he joined a group, he didn’t say anything. He just stood there, leaning in a little too close, staring alternately right into your eyes and directly into your chest, leaving the cluster of folks mired with uncomfortable silence and bad breath. When he did say something, all he did was try to pimp his band. But it all came out garbled in vowel sounds and hand gestures. It was as if a rookie mime wanted to hand you a demo tape. At”
―
Corey Taylor,
You’re Making Me Hate You: A Cantankerous Look at the Common Misconception That Humans Have Any Common Sense Left
“They have no shame. They don’t care that they are spreading moronic activity like a virus across the landscape. They don’t give a flying fuck that this shit looks like a live feed from a mental hospital; they just want enough time to throw a bandage on the head wound so they can immediately check to see how many hits the video received in the last twenty seconds. If they took another twenty seconds to watch the video, they might realize they have a concussion.”
―
Corey Taylor,
You’re Making Me Hate You: A Cantankerous Look at the Common Misconception That Humans Have Any Common Sense Left
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